I'll probably regret this later, but fuck it.
I was a skinny kid until around 4th grade. Around the time my parents divorced. Then..the pounds started packing on. I, like most "fat kids", was made fun of but hey! It made me develop a killer sense of humor, an arsenal of sarcasm and funny comebacks, and thick skin. Well, almost thick skin.
It never really bothered me. Much. It pissed me off more that I have to order cute clothes instead of just breezing through the local Target, but other than that? If a guy didn't like me for my size? Fuck him. And the skinny horse he rode in on.
But lately? It's really, really been bothering me. I was comfortable with myself. Then I had a baby. I gained 30 lbs, after losing 10 in the first trimester. Then, after Reece was born, I lost all 30 lbs in a week and a half. Then 3 months later, it was back. And it's still here. I lose a few pounds, then gain some, and so on and so forth.
Guess what? Surprise! Guys are jerks. And yeah, I'm married. But who doesn't want to feel attractive? And wanted? I do. And I don't.
And the more guys I meet, the more I want to punch them all in their face.