click click click.

One of my vices is biting my nails. Like, since I was 6, I have always bitten my nails. It's a terrible habit but I do it without even thinking. I have never gotten a manicure or anything like that because I'm so ashamed of my nails. Or at least I was.

I guess the one good thing that came out of having this bitchy toothache problem is I couldn't bite my nails because it hurt my jaw. It's been about 3 weeks and I haven't bitten my nails once, and I haven't even thought about it. I just realized my nails are longer than they have EVER been and when I drum my fingers on a hard surface, it makes that clickity noise! Is that weird to be excited about? Anyways they look so pretty, and I'm going to treat myself to a manicure. I'm stoked.

the dentist, and other stories.

I know, I know, I'm a bad blogger.

I blame my hiatus on this bitch of a tooth of mine that is currently outstaying it's welcome in the back of my upper jaw. See, I had a filling fall out. I procrastinated (my specialty) because I am fucking terrified of dentists. I have a LOW tolerance for pain and a HIGH tolerance for pain medicine, which is a crappy roll of the dice.

Sidenote: Did you know that redhaired people generally have a higher tolerance for pain medicine and/or anesthesia? It's true. I researched it after my hellish experience with my c-section. The epidural didn't take, the pain meds didn't work, and when they did the emergency c-section, the anesthesia DIDN'T WORK so I felt every. single. thing. Let that simmer in your brain for awhile.

Anyways. So yeah, when I go to the dentist, it doesn't matter what they give me, I feel what they're doing and it SUCKS. Badly. So yes, I should have gone right when the filling fell out, but I'm like a victim of PTSD. Or something. So, the tooth got infected. Which landed me in the ER because one side of my face was swollen up like Elephant Man, and I was running fever, etc. Turns out it developed into cellulitis of the face. So I have to let this crap ass antibiotic run it's course before I can actually have this tooth removed because as long as there is an infection, the dentist won't pull it. I'm in a lot of pain.

Turns out I'm a dumbass!

my not so guilty pleasure.

Do you watch Jeopardy?

Like, really watch it? Not just watch Final Jeopardy while you're waiting for the 5 o'clock news, but like obsessively record it every day and anxiously look forward to being able to watch it with your husband when your kiddo finally decided to go to sleep?

*raises hand* I do. It's become a daily tradition, watching it together and seeing who gets the most answers right (he typically wins, though I do sometimes give him a run for his money). We also get a kick out of how passive aggressive Alex Trebek is to the contestants who are losing, or who answer an obviously easy question with a really stupid answer. We laugh at the background stories of the contestants who are annoying, and read through the lines of their impressively worded job titles.

Literary sales liason = You work at Barnes and Noble, don't be trying to hide behind that, crazy cat lady with the awful peach colored sweater on.

We've been watching it daily for probably 3 years now, and my trivia knowledge has definitely improved, and I really do like the fact I learn something (or many somethings) new every day. Yes, I'm a nerd. But I'm okay with it.

monday list

Things That Annoy Me Lately

1. The fact that I live 4 1/2 hours from my friends and family. It has really, really, really started to bother me.

2. The fact that I am definitely addicted to chocolates, a big shift in what junk food I used to be addicted to: chips and crackers. It's making me rethink my self identity.

3. This blog. I spent like, about 4 hours too many gawking with my mouth open at this crazy lady's rants on everything from IVF to 'teh gays' to birth control to church nurseries. If it's out there, she probably hates it. And is proud to tell you so. Click at your own risk, it's addictively soul crushing.

4. The fact that I have no chocolate. (see number 2)

a week of nothing.

This week has been rather uneventful. I haven't really been feeling all too well- I have a migraine disorder, and so I get them quite often, but lately it's been pretty much every single morning, I wake up with a killer headache. Sometimes it goes away by dinnertime, sometimes not at all. And it drains me. It's hard to fuction when they get this bad. My doctor wants me to see a neurologist, but to be perfectly honest, I'm scared to death that they'll find something that's... well, not good. I've had headaches my entire life, but only in the past 2 years have they really amped up and turned into migraines, and then to where I'm getting them almost daily. It really puts a damper on everything.

fashion?

Secret: I'm a big fan of awards shows. Not only am I obsessed with movies, but any excuse to judge celebrities, I'm on board. Plus, I like the pre-show show. The dresses, child, to be more exact. It's really unlike me to enjoy such prissyness, considering I don't own a pair of flats, much less a pair of heels, much less a BALL GOWN, but hey. Whatever.

So, I was really looking forward to the Golden Globes this past Sunday. Without further ado, here are my (much anticipated, I'm sure) picks for best, and worst dressed.

BEST:

Olivia Wilde, in Marchesa. Girlfriend KILLED it. And she wasn't even nominated! But hey, if I had access to that sparkly number, I'd be all up on it. I told you I was a sucker for glitter. THAT is how you dress for an awards show. I'd wear that dress to my wedding, brown or not.

Worst:

Angelina Jolie, in Versace. I know, I know. This was mostly loved by critics, and I get it. It's fucking Angelina Jolie. She's got the face, the figure, the sainthood going on. But sorry, this dress did not do it for me. And her hair looks like she barely combed it. Being the most beautiful woman alive does not give you license to dress like this. But she does, and people love it, so she's gonna do it. She's like, fuck you, I'm Angelina. We get it. I just don't get it. If that makes sense.

i can't live.

Tuesday prediction: I will finally snap after a month and a half of being sans iPhone, and throw my piece of shit replacement phone out the window. Should I hold a fundraiser? Yes, I recognize I am being ridiculous. That doesn't change things.

list up mondays.

This is an easy blog trend I'm gonna try to start doing. It's just basically making a list. On Mondays. Easy enough. So here are some highlights from my day.

1. My son decided 6 was a perfect time to wake up, so I rolled out of bed and did the morning routine without really blinking. Change diaper, change him out of pjs (ok, I do this SOMEtimes, there are some day he is in pjs for half the day. Like mother, like son.), fix him juice, a snack cup of vanilla wafers or graham crackers to hold him over till breakfast time, and turn on Blue's Clue's (or, BOO'S COOS, as he tends to scream at me until I find the remote). He will grab his favorite stuffed animal, a chenille monkey that smells so good, seriously, it has a scent pack inside of it. He will climb up onto the loveseat next to me and get all settled, and for 30 minutes, he is content and I get to check my email, check the news, check facebook, check off rolling my eyes at most people on facebook, then it's time for breakfast. Now you know how my mornings roll.

2. I have had a goal since Friday to find a good king cake. I have gotten like, 2 thousand suggestions from locals, but they all cost like 50 fucking dollars. For a king cake. That I will eat in one day, let's be honest, cause I'm a sugar-a-holic. So, I've yet to find one, though there is one at Sucre that is 20 bucks, and is supposedly delish, and they use metallic glittery sugar. Secret: I'm a sucker for anything with glitter. When I find the time to get a pedicure, I still grab for the clear glitter overcoat, while the lady painting my toes shakes her head. Oh well.

3. I got pulled into a fight between my 2 sisters today. I'm the oldest- my sister Jo is 2 years younger, and then our half sister is 10 years younger than me. She was raised completely different than me and Jo. We were poor, and she has never had to know what it's like to be poor. Her dad, my ex stepdad, is from a family with money, so she was spoiled since birth. Long story, but she has really drifted apart from my mom in the past couple years, changing custody to where she only sees my mom every other weekend, and lately, not at all. My sister Jo ain't having it, she's uber protective of my mom, and basically her and my little sister have started WWIII, somehow pulling me into it. I'm fiercely loyal to Jo- we grew up together, she's my best friend. But I do have another sister, and although we haven't grown up together, she's still my sister. I understand her tension with my mom, cause I go through it too. So I feel like I'm being put in the middle. Seriously, my mom called earlier and made me call Jo on a three way call (making me feel like I was in 7th grade) so they could both tell me who said what and when. My head hurts.

4. I watched The Bachelor, and am not ashamed. NOT ASHAMED, I SAY.

Night.

i am not a mommy blogger.

As a rule, I generally dislike mommy blogs. If you're not hip to the trend in the blogosphere these days, mommy blogs are all the fucking rage. There are those that are seriously making bank from writing about their kids drool and cloth diapering and feeding their kids basically animal feed.

Being mother Earth is also a trend, just so you know.

And I should really back up and say, most of these  BIG TIME BLOGGERS started off writing about the drool and the diapers and the general chaos that goes along with having a child (or five), but the minute they post those blog ads up from the BIG TIME MOMMY BLOGGER AD COMPANY (yes, there is one), things shift into no longer a cute home-made cutesy blog about the trials and errors of being a mother, but into just being a money maker.

Big corporations take notice of these big time bloggers, send them free shit like fridges and computers just so they'll post a half-ass review, on the off chance their rabid followers might stop what they're doing, throw everything into that Toyota Sienna mini-van (it was mentioned on another mommy blog last week, didn't you hear?!), and get their happy ass to Target to GET THAT SHIT. I mean, if BIG TIME MOMMY BLOGGER said it turns on and doesn't blow up, then it must be awesome.

It's annoying. They are mostly paid per-click page views, so they do teaser posts, or tease posts via twitter or facebook, and the non-blinking masses happily click click click that mouse, because goddamnit, they have to know if Mommy Blogger Jr. passed that earring he accidentally swallowed 2 days ago.

I'm not joking. Poke around, you'll find who and what I'm talking about. It's not hard to find. I'm not a hater, I'm just over it. I'm a blogger (a half-assed one, but still). I'm a mom. But just to put it to rest, this ain't no mommy blog. I curse too much, for starters. I also don't mix Jesus into everything I write, which is also the BIG hook with these mommy blogs, for the most part. If you and Jesus are BFF, then write whatever the hell you want, these people will eat that shit for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner.

So, hopefully you'll stick around. I will probably write about my son at some point, but I'm not doing it for a fucking refridgerator.

what dreams may come. or not.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I'm a sucker for an end-of-the-world movie, or show, or anything really. If it's apocolyptic in nature, I will love the shit out of it. It has probably has to do with being raised up in an apostolic Pentecostal church, where the only thing I remember is beind told we were in the END TIMES and the rapture could, and would, happen any second now, so for baby Jesus's sake, BE READY AND REPENT! For real. That's all I remember.

Sigh.

Anyways, so last night, I had one of my frequent disaster dreams. This one was kinda dumb, but kinda realistic. I was in downtown Pineville at my friend Jodi's house, and I had a clear view of downtown Alexandria (for you non natives, it's only separated by the Red River. For all intents and purposes, they are the same area, although Alexandria is often referred to as "town" by the country folk in backwoods Rapides Parish.)

Okay, I'm rambling. Where was I? Okay, so I was outside, and saw a big ass boat float by on the river. And then this large building a la World Trade Towers (disclaimer: Alexandria's tallest building has, I believe 13 stories. No joke), was hit by said boat. All I could see was the top half of the building, and it kinda crumpled and parts fell, and there was the sound of metal and glass hitting pavement. The weird part (of an already weird dream) is that no one reacted, except me. Sure, the police finally showed up and ambulances and shit, but the townsfolk as a whole were totally unimpressed. It was crazy.

When I woke up, I thought about it for awhile, then asked myself a simple question: How in the hell did a BOAT crash into a building well inland with enough force to knock over a World Trade Center sized tower?

My dreams are stupid.

the new year.

I am really not the kind of person that does New Year resolutions. Really. I think it's just setting one up to fail, and if it's important enough to be called a resolution, perhaps you should have thought about doing it back in October or July or whenever you decided you'd make it a New Year's resolution.

That being said, I want to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person, and a better cook.

Who doesn't? But as far as cooking, I've been checking out The Tasty Kitchen, run by the fabulous Pioneer Woman. It's a community where you can post recipes, read them, etc etc etc. I've been getting involved in a few forums lately. The interwebs can be fun. Anyways, so yeah. Cooking.

These look good and easy and GOOD so I might try them tonight. Anyone else try cooking Chinese style food at home? I realize these are appetizers but I honestly could eat an entire meal of just these (and gain a thousand pounds in the process, I know). So, why not start with something I already love?

Crab Rangoons. The only problem I see is finding the wonton wrappers, I assume they'll be in the ethnic food aisle at the ol' Walmart, but we'll see. I also want to get some soy sauce (low sodium), wasabi, and minced roasted garlic to mix for a dipping sauce. Wish me luck!

oh, dear.

Toothaches are from the Devil.

That is all for now.